dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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