They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
