He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
