Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize