Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
