Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
