between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
