Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
