idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
