her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
