I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
