Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize