Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
