So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
