i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You ruined the universe
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
