Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize