Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
