Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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