You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
