You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
