Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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