Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize