There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
