I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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