come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize