i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
