I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
