I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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