We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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