So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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