I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
