I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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