Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
