Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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