did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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