I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
