Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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