You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
