butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
