I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
