Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You smell like stripper and shame
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
