Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Houston, we have a squirter
Houston, we have a blender
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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