So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
as a side note pls kill me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
