I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
