so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
