if i can run in heels then i can drive
its not stalking. its research.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
