I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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