I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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