I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
