why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
