Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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