We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
