Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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