I got chris browned last night
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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