1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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