I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The feeling are messing with the penis
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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