What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
