i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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