i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
