My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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