By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
