She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Randomize
