Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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