were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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