In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
