Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
