And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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