they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
