apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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