Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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