Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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