I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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