If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just blew my weed a kiss
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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