It's Friday. Sex?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
