yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This girl is more easily done than said...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
