Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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